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HEY THIS ISN'T EVEN CLOSE TO BEING DONE I AM JUS NOW STARTING ON IT SO YEA ...(JUS TA LET YA'LL KNO)
QUOTES
FUNNY QUOTES
1)We all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.
2)If
only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
3)I date this boy for two
years - and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name.'
4)All I ask for is the opportunity
to prove that money doesn't buy happiness.
5)Think twice before you speak, especially if you
intend to say what you think.
6)I haven't found Mr Right, but I have found Mr Cheap, Mr Sleazy
and Mr Wrong.
7)Nobody's perfect and since I'm nobody...
8)People in glass houses should always wear clothes.
9)Be careful whose toes you step on today, they might be
attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.
10)When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department
usually uses water.
11)When you fall off a horse don't get back on because the horse probably doesn't like you
12)No
one feels as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
13)It is better to be on the ground wishing you were flying, than
vice versa.
13)Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstyle you
like.
14)"The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train.
15)On the
other hand, you have different fingers.
16)As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841.
17)The best way to keep
one's word is not to give it. Napoleon Bonaparte
18)Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
19)I used
to have a handle on life, then it broke.
20)I don't drink water, fish piss in it .
21)There's no future in time travel.
22)Born free... Taxed to death.
23)If
I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
24)I have an open mind - it's just closed
for repairs.
25)Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
26)You're just jealous cause the
voices only talk to me.
27)Support Search & Rescue - GET LOST!
28)He who laughs last thinks slowest!
28)I like
children. Properly cooked.
29)If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
30)Success always occurs in private
and failure in full public view.
31)Rehab is for quitters.
32)Even if
you're paranoid, maybe they really are after you.
33)A friend in need is a pest indeed.
34)Marriage is one of the chief
causes of divorce.
35)Ask not for whom the bell tolls, let the machine get it.
36)Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
37)Work is a fine thing if it doesn't take too much of your spare time."
38)High explosives are
applicable where truth and logic fail."
39)You're never too old to learn something stupid."
40)Enough research will
tend to support your theory."
41)Borstelmann's Rule: If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the
wrong lane.
42)Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat."
43)A penny saved is ridiculous!"
44)Many people,
when they run into a telephone pole, blame the pole!
45)I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous
and give the wrong answers.
46)Is there another word for synonym?
47)What year did Jesus think it was?
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